Showing posts with label funny story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny story. Show all posts

Thursday, January 5, 2017

How We Met And Compiled This Crazy Post

funny story how we met
Here is the funny story of how we met, remember? I am a bug and your a bug and we both wanted to have the prettiest woman in the world as wife and they should be human being. And we decided to meditate in a cave and the Holy Spirit fullfilled our wish that changed us to be human being, wow!

And we wandered and started to learn how human beings behave and we acted as closely as them. We learned how to talk in pleasant manner and we learned courtesy as well. Nobody taught us and we turned out to be the greatest autodidact in the world. Look, it’s somehow funny to get stories of daily life and we just saw people met one another, how we saw the interactiion and it’s great to create a book which could becoe historical guidance later in the future. I wonder if you want to be librarian.

Then we focused on how to make our dream comes true, to meet the girls, our wives to-be. But, in fact it’s crazily difficult to get one. There’s nothing in the world as we expected, we just got lost in this American presidential campaign but we hated to talk about it, there’s no such thing to call funny story here, we just met problems and problems, and then we started a journey to India. We would like to meet pretty actors there and ask why Indians like singing and dancing. But there’s no answer. This stereotype was not we’re looking for.

Then how come, that idea appeared? We would like to go to a temple which has no iron elements in its structure, and no cement. The concrete was used only in the foundation. The rest was made of stone. Marble and granite for the construction was delivered from all over the world. It was processed using special technology, and then joint together. All pillars of the temple are stacked, and all stone elements are turned 90 degrees after being connected. It was done to provide seismic resistance in case of earthquakes, which sometimes happen in India. Imagine the level of precision required for stone processing to assemble this big "puzzle". Wow, we already became engineers here!

But we hadn’t started our journey yet, we thought about some other place, Taj Mahal? Is it funny if we don’t have money but have only dream? Wondering if only the story started here and we met here.

The Taj Mahal was built by a whopping 22,000 laborers, painters, stonecutters, embroidery artists. 2. Legend has it that Emperor Shah Jahan intended to build another Taj Mahal in black marble across the river but a war with his sons interrupted these plans. 3. The changing moods of the Emperors wife are well captured by the changing hues of the Mausoleum at different times of the day. It takes a pinkish hue in the morning, milky white in the evening and golden at night when illuminated by moonlight.

If you were a conglomerate, would you buy Taj Mahal? Maybe for your kid to play around? This going to be great.

But, wait, don’t you think all this is weird. Taj Mahal and the rest? It’s about a funny story of how we met, remember? But that point is missing. When? Where? On what occassion?

Forget it, we already made a unique post!

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

5 Things Not To Do To Be a Great Man

In order to be an outstanding person, you have to measure your own self; your own expertise, fondness and goal in life. It is not recommended that you become a sissy while you're leading a meeting for the first time in your life. Or you cry out on the street claiming that you can outdo Arnold Schwarzenegger when it comes to body building. Do you want to add some muscles to show it off to your angry boss?

There you go again, Mr. Nurman,  Sure, I get bored writing about something serious, for this won't upgrade my income. Nobody will come to me asking me a favor to write about finance, or gadget or fashion and so on and so on, but anyway, seriously you just cannot do these 5 stupid things in order to be somebody, a person that many people adore. Forget about disjointed context. 

The don'ts

1. You wear a mask to school or office and the mask is one hundred percent similar to Spider-man's.
Even if you're sure you have some blessed super power and you want to confess that you are a strong man, this is a stupid thing to do to humiliate yourself.  
Look who's crazy now ...

2. Great people never beg for nothing, so don't beg, even if you have no money. Perhaps, you just can close your eyes in case you get laid off from your company and you're totally broke, you can start dreaming of having a bowl of noodle. Pretend that this noodle is food from heaven. Please chin up ...

3. Dance but without a great deal of people around. If you just wanna dance because you want to entertain yourself it is okay if you do it while sleeping. Do it seriously and better not have that fancy that you spontaneously become a Bollywood star and that everybody on the street turn to be dancers, to sing and dance with you. Absolutely, this is such a stupid thing to do and that won't make you a great man. 

4. No alcohol, no drug and so on. If you get drunk, you may become a great person for a while but your shadow will slap you in the face and will you feel sorry to see it cry all night long because of your addiction? Please don't wet the bed for this. 

5. Never feel sorry to revisit this blog in order to tickle your fancy. No matter what your status is, profession, ethnic and religion, you are welcomed here to be a great man. Sure, I'll treat all my guest as a king. So, anyway, what would you like to drink Your Majesty?

What?! You want to wear that Spider-man mask, instead? And beg for money, dance on the street, get drunk and decide never ever visit this blog?

Well, you're not a girl, not yet a woman, who's crazy now?

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Why Yoko Ono Likes Me

I am grateful Yoko Ono likes me. She cannot live without me. She's been with me the rest of her life. Ono grew up in Tokyo, and studied at Gakushuin, I know it. She withdrew from her course after two years and rejoined her family in New York in 1953. She spent some time at Sarah Lawrence College, and then became involved in New York City's downtown artists scene, including the Fluxus group.

I also know she first met Lennon in 1966 at her own art exhibition in London, and they became a couple in 1968. Ono and Lennon famously used their honeymoon as a stage for public protests against the Vietnam War with their Bed-Ins for Peace in Amsterdam and Montreal in 1969.

But there's no story about Yoko Ono liked doing mountain climbing in Indonesia, India or Pakistan. Do you like mountain climbing, anyway? Mountain climbing doesn’t require power-lifting skills, but it does require a fair bit of strength. After all, you’re not just hauling your body up the mountain, you’re also probably hauling a large pack on your back and your body needs to be able to move vertically with that extra weight.

But we're not talking about mountain climbing here, we're talking about my relationship with Yoko Ono. As Lennon's widow, Ono works to preserve his legacy. She funded Strawberry Fields in New York City, the Imagine Peace Tower in Iceland, and the John Lennon Museum in Saitama, Japan (which closed in 2010). She has made significant philanthropic contributions to the arts, peace, Philippine and Japan disaster relief, and other causes. Ono continues her social activism, inaugurating a biennial $50,000 Lennon Ono Grant for Peace in 2002 and co-founding the group Artists Against Fracking in 2012.

As the one to serve not only yoko Ono, I have so many uncountable fans all around the world. Once she said, "John loved chocolate. I didn’t. But after his passing, I went for chocolate, and I liked it. Now, I’m trying not to eat too much of it."

Ono likes to have orange juice with grated ginger and garlic mixed when she comes home from a long trip abroad, But she cares about me much than that.

Okay, now I just cannot hide myself from you all guys if you're so curious about me. First, do you know what she eats? She doesn’t crave for big fat steak, Just a little bowl of rice and kimchi will do for her lunch. Kimchi is her favorite thing.She eats mostly vegetables. She can’t stand how we are treating the animals.She eats fish off and on. But actually, She feels the best when she is just eating good, fresh vegetables.

Now, why she likes me, because I think she and most Asians agree that their stomach will cry if they don't see me in a day. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce myself. Name is rice and here is my partner kimchi.

why yoko ono likes m
Hm... Yummy ...

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Celebrity Funny Stories To Make You Laugh Out Loud!

Looking for some funny stories to make you laugh out loud? The following are compiled from the old files belonging to Mr. Nurman learns to tickle your fancy. If it is not too crazy hopefully you can give a bright smile to a gecko. Lol!

Famous celebrities like Oprah Winfrey, Lindsay Lohan, Mike Tyson, George Michael and Christopher Hawking don’t have something to amuse you directly here, but as the stories must go on, and they must be funny, you are not allowed to laugh out loud in a plenary meeting!

Remember when Talk show queen Oprah Winfrey lent her voice to Orangutan for the first time as promoted by pre-schoolers around her neighborhood? It had nothing to do with some grumbles of this Sesame Street producer who had asked her to participate in a TV show project in advance and had made a deal to use her voice. You want to know a very funny story that makes you laugh out loud? Those Orangutans living in Borneo Indonesia learn to copy Oprah Winfrey’s gesture in order to support Darwin theory of evolution.

Lindsay Lohan was finally taking a step in a confusing direction. After news broke that she had tested positive for cocaine during her drug test, she started to distinguish between black and white when she saw people playing chess. Whether this information is right or wrong, if you laugh out oud for this joke, probably you have dull sense of humor. But if it is part of funny story, well—not bad anyway. For the first time ever she did not play victim. She was learning how to amuse people with jokes? No way, no jokes in the head of the chess players. That’s silly!

Now, sit still, concentrate. Close your eyes and imagine there before you is a cute boy to tickle. Get rid of stress, now you are with the baby boy and he is crying for you to take him into your lap. No, do not listen to the weep; you need to focus on how to refrain from anger. All you have to do is only feel you are with him and keep lulling him to sleep even after your blue jeans having been wet.

Now you have no more hatred, you don't have to win a debate and you don't have to be in the sulks, not by any means. Your sins are redeemed, not by a savior or God, not even by celebrities, but by your own initiative to be always in a positive-thinking state of mind.

This kind of therapy is worth trying anytime you feel lack of tolerance. As nobody perfect you can yell at the sky and express your emotion, "I'm not perfect; I swear to God, I'm not perfect. I am not even as perfect as celebrity" OK, done? Now listen to a funny story about Mike Tyson. The one to make you laugh out loud? Which one? You come to him, yell at him and tickle him!

By the way, George Michael admits to driving under alcohol influence? Out of date info of celebrity?

I wrote something silly about it on September 2010: When the accident happened, he was learning how to tickle his own fancy, anyway. Unfortunately, he was doing so in a wrong place. First, he had come across a tickling blog named Mr. Nurman learns to tickle your fancy while browsing on the Internet that he had got inspired of how to cope with stress.

However, things had been so hard to get connected with the world of fancy. That's why he had thought of drinking in order to be "there".

He had been tickled driving a tickling Range Rover on the smooth road. The car which had been tickled by a tickling wheel hadn't been able to control itself because of the alcohol drops. The street, amazingly, had prepared a lively stage for the singer to sing.

That's actually the problem, George Michael had thought of his heyday. The crash didn't sound like music at all!

And .... There the funny story goes about celebrity. What is it? Nobody has to laugh out loud on this.

Let’s skip it.

Stephen Hawking and religious leaders have agreed on something crucial regarding Hawking's recent sensational and controversial book publication. But they decided not to let the media know about it.

Last night a shadow crawled on the wall of the convention center, downtown London, where they were having a meeting and tried to find it out. But this masked man dressed in red and blue web-designed costume found that the meeting there, in a locked room, running in a usual way. No debate, no irritating arguments and therefore, no conclusion seemed to make.

He dangled on the ceiling in awe! How come, in there people were playing poker?!

Well, that’s all about some silly stories which might entertain you. If this sounds weird, better learn how to distinguish between black and white when playing chess—even if you don’t like it. Lol!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

6 Crazy News Written By Stressful Blogger

Got some crazy news to cope with stress, Mr. Blogger?

Yes …

But Beware if you're not used to this weird humor, you get stressed, instead!

1. A tiring shadow was browsing on the internet and came across a funny blog. He started to laugh and … ” Would you stop that!” a voice abruptly took it back to where it belonged—the bloggers’ body!

2. A hanger jumped out of the wall to welcome a guess by the door. The stressful hanger had never been seen since and regarded as a missing thing. A lousy blogger took it with him and use it as--a hanger?

happy blogger?3. A spoof banner escaped from its cage and snatched a zoo visitor. The visitor was not torn apart and couldn't be eaten. He felt like being tickled to death!

4. Flash Gordon, together with Wonder Woman, went to the cinema on Friday night to see a horror movie. Unfortunately, the slide was stolen on the way to the movie theater. How come! The screen was displayed the features of stressful blogger with a hanger. It was totally not funny.

5. A turtle who’s eager to cope with stress invited Mr. Google Search Engine to his house. “Can I take some funny and tickling blogs with me?” Mr. G demanded. “Is your house is a search engine too?

6. A face whose nose is missing was laughing at itself. “Do you think it is funny?” asked another face. It didn't respond. He kept laughing. Next the face started to take off its eyes, lips and beard, and … “Stop it!” the faced returned to where it belonged, the crazily stressful blogger's!

Indonesian Voice Over, Male Voice! Try Nurman

Hi, long time no post. I hope you're fine there. Stay healthy, stay safe. You know, I keep renewing this domain and hardly ever write an...